Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Hole

Sometimes, when you have a hole, it can't be filled. As much as you would like to you can't replace what was in the hole. Like, take for instance, a hole in the ground. Once you take out the dirt out of the hole you can't put all the dirt back in the hole exactly the way it was. Why? because that's millions upon millions of little pieces of rock, sand and dirt that all have to go back in the same order and place. The same holds true for most other kinds of holes too.
Another frustrating thing about holes is that you can't make something that didn't fit into it in the first place go in. Take, for example, that funny block game that we all had as kids. It was the cube that had the holes of the different shaped blocks and you had to match the blocks with the holes. No matter how hard you tried you could never fit the square into the round hole and visa-versa.
So what, may I ask, happens when you have a hole such as these two examples? A hole that not only has to have all the right parts, but also the right order of these parts? Disaster.
What if you had a hole such as these and not only was it impossible to fill, but it also had been there for so long and was so deep that its very existence caused pain? What if every time you walk out the door you fall into this hole? So to fix this problem, you put up cement barricades, orange cones, caution tape and warning signs. But this doesn't fix the problem. Now, every time you look in the general direction of the hole you are reminded of how deep, dangerous and painful the hole is.
Still after all of this you must seek another answer. Maybe, perhaps, you could use force to remove the hole all together by forcing objects that do not fit the hole into the hole? A possibility. You try with all your might to push dirt, rocks, cement, water, mud, plastic, air, gasoline, molten metal, wood, scrap and carpet of all things into the hole. The results are abysmal. One after the other, each thing just blows up in your face making your hole all that more deep and ghastly looking.
All this has made you very tired and discouraged. You sit, taking a break from your labors. While you rest and without your knowing, a nasty, gnawing, darkness oozes forth from the pit. It surrounds you and before you can do anything, it, in one sweeping gesture, brings to memory all the joy there was when you didn't have a hole. With it's emptiness it mocks your feeble efforts at trying to erase the gapping maw. You try to deny it's logic, but you cannot.
"It's all your fault," the wicked voice whispers in your ear.
"But I was blind!" you exclaim in earnest. "I didn't know what it was doing!"
"That doesn't matter. You are the one to blame! If YOU hadn't have messed up, you would still have everything that you lost," the voice says with thundering power.
"That may be true, but nothing like that is meant to last. It would've have ended one way or another. With my help or no."
"But just think if you had been more careful!" the voice screeches, reaching some twisted crescendo. "You would have enjoyed more!"
"You are wrong, Demon. That is not what I regret. I regret something that you cannot understand."
"And what is this that you regret? I have my doubts that I won't understand."
"I regret not always having these memories. It was the best decision that I ever made to do these things so I could learn from my mistakes, and grow and change for the better. Sure I miss having the wholeness like I used to have, but I was so naive back then. I am much wiser now. And missing this doesn't make me a dammed soul as you would have me believe. It makes me stronger," you pause, choosing your next words carefully. "I command you to bother me no further, Devil. I am free from you!" you shout the last words in a triumphant call that shakes the ground, releasing the Demon's hold on you.
Rejected, the voice slinks back away into the darkness that it came from leaving behind a trail of memories, good memories that it could no longer hold from the light that is coming from within. But, although the light is coming from within, it did originate from there, it is coming from a greater source, somewhere higher, where all good comes from . . . . . . . . . . . .

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Bronson, very literary! I felt like I was reading excerpts from a classic book or something. You should write more often.

    Although, not going to lie, when I first read that you can't use force to fill in the hole, I misread it as saying you couldn't use the Force to fill the hole. And I may have thought of Star Wars video games and my husband building useless staircases out of old engine turbines and laughed :)