To describe in one word how I feel right now, it's "exhausted." This single word goes further than to just describe my physical state, it also is an apt description for my emotional condition. I don't seem to have the appropriate energies necessary for any kind of activity short of sleeping. This, however, creates a problem since I have lots that needs to get done, both socially and academically. It's almost like every meaningful thought is covered in vaseline and is far too slick to hold on to.
Another year has come and gone and the only word I can come up with for this year is "Disappointing" I know that's an unhealthy attitude towards a whole year, but it seemed to just go down hill from the beginning. Besides my four A's and one -A in school, I'm not better off than last year.
A harsh blanket statement, I know, but it's true. I spent too much money, I didn't reach any worthwhile goals, the only new friends I made this year have (almost) all left and/or I'm not going to see them much due to living arrangements and my dating goals have, apart from some late progress, were almost untouched. But I guess that could be classified under the "goal" category. To be blunt, goal progress has been absolutely terrible. In fact, I took a step backwards from most of my goals.
There is a lot of uncertainty in my future since my plans that I have had since I was a 10 year old has been thrown into the spiky pit of doubt and has been locked in until further notice.
This future of unknowns is troubling, especially with the compounded problem of not having enough money.
Due to the personal nature of my goals I won't post them here, but I can say that I want the word of 2011 to be "fulfilling." I want to start living my life and get rid of this void that has been my personal demon for far too long. No one can tell me how to live my life or how to be happy.