Another Day, Another Entry . . . .

So my Photoshop class had no formal final, it was, instead, a project. The requirements were that it had to be a collage that "evoked an emotion." My first instinct was to do something depressing, but resisting that emotion, I did something exciting. Everybody likes winning, right? So that's what I did, someone who has won. Since it's my final, a good chunk of my grade is resting on this piece, so I'm worried. But personally, I love it.

You can see the picture large here. So, comment and let me know what you think of it!

{Peace}

Mother, Your Cries Will Not Go Unnoticed . . . .

So from the bottom of my heart I love my mother but sometimes. . . . Anyway mom, here is my self portrait.

And for the rest of my faithful readers, the original:

My sister probably recognizes this picture since it was taken at her wedding.

Anyhow, here is the original, vector, and the zip with the Illustrator file for download.

Don't forget to comment!

{Peace}

Critic Time . . . .

So I watched this really sad movie last night called Requiem for a Dream. It was about man in his mid twenties named Harry, his mother named Sara, Harry's friend named Tyrone, and Harry's girlfriend named Marion. It starts off by Harry and Tyrone taking Sara's TV and pawning it for money so they can go get high. Harry's girlfriend is also a druggie and during the summer they are all happy. Money isn't an issue because they have "this guy" that they can get drugs from that's super cheap and they can make double their money.

Sara is obsessed about watching TV because that's all she has left. She is a widow and Harry never comes around anymore. She receives a call from the TV show she watches saying that she has won and gets to be on TV. She obsesses over this call and says she needs to fit into her "red dress" that she wore at Harry's graduation. Since she can't get the zipper up she decides that she needs a diet. Her diet is rough and she isn't seeing the results that she wants so she goes to this doctor that gives her some pills. She is losing weight and has lots of energy but soon she starts taking two, then three, then four because she needs to "fit into my red dress!". After a few months she starts having hallucinations and paranoia. Finally she loses it and is admitted to a hospital. By this time, she has lost it completely. They try everything to try and get her to eat but nothing works so they do electro shock therapy. Her life is pretty much over, she watches TV all day with out caring about anything.

Tyrone and Harry are making tons of money and everything is great until a needed drug deal goes south and they need to get some hits so they dig into there precious money. By this time they have to go all the way to Florida to get the stuff to sell and Harry's arm is jacked up from using a dirty needle and him and Tyrone get thrown in jail. Tyrone is put to work and almost can't handle going cold turkey from his drugs. Harry loses his arm, too.

Marion, after the drug deal goes south, starts sleeping around for money while Tyrone and Harry are going to Florida. She is miserable but she has money.

Pros: This movie is a powerful campaign against drugs. It really shows how broken life can be if you are addicted to drugs. It also has beautiful cinematography and paralleling the four stories at the end is beautiful.

Cons: Lots and lots of language. Other bad stuff. Dark. Not very uplifting.

Requiem for a Dream: 6/10

I bought a new game yesterday called: Heavenly Sword. Awesome game. Gameplay wise it looks like the predecessor to games to Bayonetta. Artistic style, voice acting, graphics and immersion remind me of Uncharted 2. The fighting is beautiful but the walking running actions look stiff and unnatural. At first I hated the Sixaxis movement for guiding your arrows and cannon fire but after you get the hang of it, I wouldn't trade it if I had the choice. Another reason to get a PS3 rather than a Xbox360! The game also shows off the power of the PS3. Nariko looks photo realistic and is EXTREMELY hott. Beautiful game. The game itself is very a immersive experience but you really don't know what's going on. The plot is lacking. Solid game overall.

Heavenly Sword (PS3 only): 8.5/10

Peace.

If You Asked Me . . .

Why I'm writing a blog entry at 4 in the morning, I wouldn't have a good answer for you. I could say that I couldn't sleep. That wouldn't be entirely true. I could say it was because of stress and that I needed to relieve some of the pressure by writing. Yet again, partially true. But to be honest, what I really think the problem is, is that I'm feeling against towards life in general and that feeling has spread beyond my internal circuits to my external whining circuits (to the chagrin of my readers).

Well, I feel better getting that off my back. I think I will go to bed now.

Peace.

Here I am! Feel free to ignore me . . . .

Lately I been becoming steadily more irritated at the fact that no matter how many ward activities I go to everyone there generally ignores me. I knew that it would be an adjustment coming to college and going to a new ward and such, but to be honest, it's far worse than I could've imagined it would be.

At FHE last night I brought Ashleigh with me to help relieve the fact that no one talks to me and it backfired. Ash was in a mood so I would say things and she would kinda snap at me. If it was just that, I would've been fine, I grew up with a sister so I get it when they are . . . upset easily. Anyway, but she had to leave like half way through the FHE and I couldn't leave because I was going to at least stick around until they presented the old Bishopric their presents (it was a farewell party for my old Bishopric that got released this Sunday). That, and I was supposed to have planned it so I felt obligated to stay. But anyway, after Ashleigh left, I was left all alone. While we had been eating no one else had joined the table so after she left I was sure that someone would say: "Bronson! Come over and sit with us." But this was an erroneous thought and did not come to pass. In fact, I could've not been at the party all together and I doubt anyone would have noticed.

To add insult and injury to insult, I was walking my knee started killing me. The pain got so bad that I started limping and all the people I passed were looking at me like I was some sort of weirdo. I hobbled back to my dorm ashamed and depressed, where me and my PS3 passed the hours away until bedtime with headshots on Modern Warfare 2.

Well, my class is starting now, so I bid you all a found farewell.

Peace.

The End of the Beginning; The Beginning of the End . . . .

Bittersweet emotions filled me last night when I registered for the last semester that I'm going to take before my mission.

The beginning of the end.

I also realized that as of May 8th I will no longer be a Freshman, but a Sophomore.

The end of the beginning.

It's sad, I have heard that college is the funnest time, but all the memories I have of this semester are homework and late nights doing projects. I didn't have time to get good grades and have fun. A lot of my friends found that out the hard way last semester and I didn't want to fall into that pitfall. What it really boils down to is that I felt far lonelier this semester than last semester because most of friends either: moved away, started dating and/or hang out at all the time with one particular person or got engaged. *sigh* I feel like I have been left alone, very alone. And that I have been left off the social bandwagon. It's just that everyone that I took on a date last semester is either engaged or in some sort relationship. And then there is me.

Well, enough moaning.

I watched a very interesting movie last night called, The Fountain. It was very confusing. The acting was phenomenal. It really allowed Hugh Jackman to show how good of an actor he really is. The cinematography was also incredible. Beautiful use of color, shape, pattern and architecture. The storyline, however, was . . . different. It had three different storylines going on at once. One in modern times, one during Spain's quest for the Fountain of Youth and one . . . Well, I'm not really sure. I couldn't tell if it was within the modern Hugh Jackman's mind, the Conquistador's mind or something else independent of them altogether. Whether this was a metaphorical storyline or a literal journey within the mind, I couldn't tell. I picked up the blu-ray at Best Buy for $9.99 on sale ($20 off!).

Final word: Great acting, even better cinematography, but a hard to follow storyline. 7/10

Nuff said.

Peace.

Oh, Solace . . . .

When the aching heart has broken for the last time, when all efforts have gone down into the realm of memories, when the time has stopped its ticking, when I have left the last whole part of my soul by the wayside, it will stop hurting.

The burning lusts of the world burn my Spirit with a fevered flame that devours Good and turns it to evil, leaving me a charred mass of hatred and envy. The dark tendrils of Desire slither silently toward the edges of my waking mind, sending me into a panicked frenzy. Casting reason carelessly aside, my battered soul searches for something that cannot be found, for I am cursed. The bitter doubts and regrets consume me, burn me, torture me.

Darkness begins to envelop my eyes, and blur my vision. Tears of lost efforts and useless gestures fill my eyes, breaking whats left of Will into powder with ease. I pause from my efforts and let darkness surround me with its sweet malice. I lay still.

My body suddenly surges with a newfound energy and I throw my eyes open, only to realize that I'm so far from the Light. My hand seeks a to find purchase in the ashen earth. My bloody fingers find a rock; a sharp rock that tears at my aching flesh. I use this leverage to turn my body towards the light, and on my stomach, I begin to crawl. Digging my arms into the burning, ashen earth I pull myself inch, by painful inch. The Dust of Corruption fills my lungs, choking out what little breath I have left. I turn my eyes toward the fading Light. My grip begins to slip and I reach out towards the Light, hoping. As the Light ebbs away, I cry out within me, my soul screaming out in the agony of defeat. The Deep Evil laughs, haughtily, mocking my every cry.

The Light fades into the infinite blackness of Despair and my hopes are crushed along with it. I stop fighting and let go of myself. Flame begins to lick up around my body, burning with the anger of millions.

"Oh Solace, where art thou?"

I lay still forever more.

Drum Roll, Please . . . .

So the long awaited moment finally arrived, the moment when I finished my realistic object assignment. I feel very accomplished having finally finished it. After almost thirty hours (yes, that's right, 30 hours, the big three and then a fat zero put together in to one number, 30), it's finally done.

So all I had left to do last night was the numbers around the bezel and the screen. I started at 8:00 PM and figured that I do 4 hours and stay up until 2:00 AM if I had to but I didn't close the file until 5:00 AM. So I basically pulled an all-nighter. I would have just gone to bed at 2 but it was due the next morning so I had no choice.

And finally, the moment you all have been waiting for, the unveiling . . . .

I know it may not look like much but here is the original I traced from, line by painful line.

And then finally, I have the wireframe image also. If any of you have worked in Illustrator, you will appreciate this next image.

Although it was hard to do, I did it right, and that feels good. I don't know what else to say. My teacher and my class loved it, so that's a good sign for my grade. So I pretty much have a guaranteed A in that class, so that feels good.

I guess I had good karma in that class today, a cute girl totally talked to me about how much she liked my project. Maybe I will ask her out. I will keep all four of my faithful readers updated. : )

Don't forget to comment! Tell me what you think of it!

Peace.

P.S. The images don't seem to be playing nice so you can go here (Wireframe, Vector, Original) to see them full sized or here to download them (includes Illustrator file with all three pictures).

Fact . . . .

Fact: I don't want to do my homework.

Fact: When someone hits on me that I'm not attracted to, it's awkward.

Fact: I'm tired and have a headache. : (

Fact: Crayons can melt on me for all I care.

Fact: I just wasted 10 seconds of your life.

Peace.

Yet Again . . . .

So yet again I'm waiting for an operating system to install, and while I'm waiting I might as well update my blog. But this time I'm not installing Windows, I'm installing MAC OSX. I will admit that it's faster than windows to install but I still like Windows better. It's like a familiar friend to me. I know that the major that I'm going into seems like you would have to have a Mac, but I don't know of a single program that my career uses that is a Mac only application. That being said, Macs do have there upsides. But it's not worth 2, 3 or 4 times the price of a Windows machine. Like the other day I tricked out a Mac Pro and it came to like $17,000. You can by quite the car for that much. I could get a Windows machine with similar specs for 1/2 that price.
Well, it's done installing . . . I guess this is the end until next time.
Peace.

My Tutorial . . . .

So today my friend and I did a custom Illustrator tutorial for our Illustrator class. This is what we threw together in a couple of hours . . . .

It was inspired by my header of my blog . . . . It's not as cool but it only took me 20 minutes to do. And here is the link to my tutorial that we did. If you are privileged enough to own Illustrator CS4, go ahead and try it out and tell me what you think. If not, feel free to marvel at its awesomeness. : ) Don't forget to comment!

Peace.

Squeezing In My Blog . . . .

So lately I have been so busy I haven't had much time to do much of anything besides my stupid realistic object assignment (which I have spent 12ish hours working on and am only 2/3 of the way done . . . so depressing). Don't worry though, my faithful readers, I will post a picture of it when I finally get it done. I can't really complain about it too much though. We were given an extension on the due date. It was due Wednesday morning (meaning I would have to pull an all-nighter to finish it tonight), but, in an act of mercy on my teacher's part, he moved it back to Friday morning, giving me 2 more days to get it done . . . . I could be working on it right now but I only have a half hour before I go eat dinner and then I have a night class right after that, so I will just work on it after class tonight. That gives me 4 solid hours of productive time to work on it. I should be able to get a good chunk of it done . . . hopefully.

In other news, I spent this afternoon working on a game for my programming class that puts you in the role of the "Adventurer" that is exploring dark and scary caves with a bow and arrow (that doesn't shoot) in search of gold. But in this cave, there is a Wumpus. A large and scary looking beast (the grahpics make him look more like a giant gingerbread man) that will eat you if your go onto the same square as him. The cave is also full of deadly pits that you will stumble into if you are not careful. The way to avoid these dangers is that on a adjacent square to a pit there is a breeze and a stench for the Wumpus. Although these warnings are good, they don't tell you how many or in what direction they are, leaving you guessing a lot and usually losing because of making a wrong 50/50 decision. And sometimes (or most of the time) the game is impossible to win because the pit generation, Wumpus placement and gold location are random. Although this game is no Oblivion or Final Fantasy it has it's moments when it is fun. It's strangely addictive too.

Another thing that has been weighing on my mind is the future. I know that I shouldn't be thinking about it but I can't help it. Like for instance, I'm going on a mission, but only if it's for the right reasons, because otherwise I might as well not go. So far in my life I have just said that I was going on mission just to escape the prosecution that is given to those who don't go. Although, I will admit, I don't have reason not to go, I won't go unless things are right. It will be my decision made with, and according to, revelation given to me. I won't go for any other reason. I'm not just going to walk into this "just because I'm supposed to," it's too big for that. Because if I do go in the wrong mind set, I won't be a good teacher and will fail to bring the Light of Christ to people, and right now I don't know if I'm ready. So this summer prayer and soulsearching are in order. I will seek for guidance in this matter until I'm satisfied that I have been given sufficient readiness in mind and spirit to make the right (right, meaning feels right, and go forward with no regrets in mind or heart; that's the only way to do it) decision. If all is right, then all will work out, but there is no need to make things harder than they have to be for myself. And if I go I want to spend those two years teaching, preaching and bringing the Light of Christ to people, not spending a year of that figuring it out why in the heck I'm out there. Anyway, you get the point.

I need to go eat now, so . . . . Don't forget to comment!

Peace.

The Trouble With Life Right Now . . . .

The trouble with life right now is that everytime I think I can relax, take it easy or will be rewarded with surviving this far in life (which should be noted is harder than it sounds). While all my friends are enjoying their fabulous Easter Break, I'm am back home, sure, but with so much homework that I can't even go to the Priesthood session of Conference. The only reason I have time to do this blog entry is that I am waiting for dinner to be ready and I don't want to get started on a project just to get interrupted 15 minutes later. Another troubling thing about today, is that the weather looks and feels like February, which should be noted, is one of my least favorite months.

Although I was able to listen to both sessions of Conference today, the first one I was so tired from trying to catch up with my late nights and massive amounts of stress, that I drifted in and out of sleep during the talks. I feel bad to say the least. The second session I couldn't pay as close attention as I would have like because I had to do 4 collages. And I can't really just tell myself that it will all be better in a month when I get done with school because I'm right back to my sucky job that I had for 2 years. My summer will not only be devoid of fun, I will be friendless. All of my friends that are left at home are either gone on missions or going on missions. And to top it all off I have to go to work knowing that I might have to deal with my ex-girlfriend, who (as far as I can tell) hates me. Things were not pretty last time we talked.

After the summer the stress if far from ending, I have to go to another semester of school and take calculus (which if my other classes don't kill me that one surly will). After that it's the not-so-simple matter of preparing for my Mission. The next two years will be the hardest two years of my life. The very thought is stressful.

After I get back (assuming I don't get eaten by a dog or a large gangster while on my Mission) it's like I have to start living the busiest years of my life. School, job and a vain attempt at a social life and the pressure of having to find someone to marry is almost too much for my mind to handle.

*fail*

Peace